“After all this time, Severus?” “Always.”

Friday 15th July – Greek foods

Just a quick mention of the fact that I went for proper Greek food for the first time ever last Friday and it was incredible. I now plan to go to Greece one day and spend a week or two eating similarly huge quantities of moussaka, green leafy things in various states of cookedness (dolmathes and tabbouleh representing either end of the spectrum) , and pastry-based goods such as spanakopita and baklava. Long live the Greeks and their ability to make foods that not only taste excellent but also have names that are fun to say.

Saturday 16th July – Harry Potter

Finally, after months of ecstatically childish excitement, I went to watch the last Harry Potter film and with it feel my childhood officially come to an end. Joining me in observing this rite of passage were Sally (who is a proper person and understands the magicalness); Phil, Michael, Wham, and Jesse (who are losers and spent most of the time picking holes in the plot); and Brendan (who I think secretly loves the Potter but was pretending he didn’t in order to look cool).

I was genuinely worried that the grown-ups directing the film would have cocked it up in some way as they have been known to do in the past, but against all my negative expectations it was FANTASTIC. The story is heartbreaking, terrifying and somehow still rather spiffingly British, the special effects were easily good enough to rival Lord of the Rings, and the many much-neglected proper actors in the cast got to do some proper acting, especially Maggie Smith and the oh-so-sexy-yet-impossibly-becoming-ever-sexier Alan Rickman, who had me practically weeping towards the end. I won’t ramble on about how good it was (trust me, I could go on all week) but I would definitely recommend it to anyone who has read the books/seen the previous films and will therefore understand what’s going on. If you haven’t fulfilled any of the aforementioned criteria and are therefore a muggle, watch this infinitely simplified version of events instead:

I feel the need (rather pointlessly as she will never read it) to thank J K Rowling from the bottom of my heart for making my life that little bit more magical, and reinforcing my belief that you should always try to see the best in people, even if they are greasy heads of Slytherin house who used to be Death Eaters.

After Harry Potter the plan was to go to the lovely Lisa’s house for a party. We went to Michael’s house first, where his wonderful mum proceeded to give me a very informative lesson about Japanese alcoholic drinks, namely sake and plum wine, and lots of it! I hadn’t realised how dangerously drinkable sake is. I also had no idea that in Japanese culture your guest isn’t allowed to have an empty cup, and I felt rude for not finishing what was in my cup every time it was refilled, so I ended up very tipsy very quickly! We also ate interesting Japanese snacks including dried pea things and tiny dried silver fishies, which I felt a little bit sorry for but they were yummy, so it’s sort of their own fault.

Thankfully we left for Lisa’s while I was still able to walk. The party was a lovely affair, and I seem to remember me and Sally spending a long time talking through various technicalities of Harry Potter with various people. After that conversation moved on the the usual: prog rock, crap films and the like. Joel was going around taking photos on his very expensive-looking camera, and when Michael told him that I hate having my picture taken all hell broke loose… I dread to think how many terrible pictures he has of me on his camera now! Joel, if you’re reading this, never let them see the light of day (unless by some miracle there are actually some acceptable ones). I did however manage to take some nice photographs that didn’t have me in them:

Lovely Australian people

After this picture was taken everything becomes a bit of a haze. I seem to remember talking to many people about many indeterminate but retrospectively fascinating things, putting a lot of skittles in Phil’s beer for no reason and then developing the worst bout of hiccups I’ve ever had and being terrified that they would never ever stop (they did, after a not particularly impressive length of time).

Monday 17th July – Limes & kumquats

On Monday I decided to have a day off, but was either too lazy or too unimaginative to think of anything to do. By default this meant that it was time to do some baking, so I dragged Phil to the shop to get ingredients. After spending ELEVEN DOLLARS on limes and even more dollars on various other things (including stamps to finally post my postcards) we came home and managed to put together a triumphant concoction of key lime and candied kumquat pie.

Key lime and candied kumquat pie: not for the faint-hearted or weak of tooth

 Unfortunately we went a bit too mental with the candying of kumquats and the end result was two-thirds yummy pudding (the limey bit and the biscuity bit) with the other third being a rock solid layer of – admittedly rather tasty – kumquat concrete in between them! It was still highly enjoyable but I have learned valuable lessons about the use of potentially dangerous candied items for the future. If anyone has any small children with wobbly teeth that need removing quickly and humanely, get in touch and I’ll send you the recipe!

More all Aussie adventures (mainly involving food)

Thursday 30th June – Market

We went to a little market where John and Phoebe live to obtain foods. The fruit and veg stall was really impressive: everything they sold seemed to be giant versions of normal vegetables, but that’s apparently just the way things grow out here! We got some rhubarb, a giant parsnip and some funky purple carrots. I obtained a custard apple, which is a strange bumpy tropical fruit that apparently tastes (unsurprisingly) like custardy apple. More detail on my adventures with those tomorrow.

The mysterious custard apple

Linda bought some soap from a little man because “he looked lonely” – I’m glad I’m not the only person in the world who’s been known to do that – some candles, and some coffee from another little man who roasted it himself and talked nicely about it. I also discovered a new kind of pastry item – a bee sting, which is a honey-flavoured bun with rum-flavoured custard in the middle and totally scrummy. We got some hot smoked salmon to have for tea (all the mackerel was gone *sob*). Missy the dog made two new friends: a tiny sausage dog that had her trying to break her neck with her lead by running round in incessant circles after it, and the gayest poodle in the world ever. There was also a very cool band playing tunes in the background. I love markets 🙂

Saturday 2nd July – Custard Apples

I was determined to make a cake, but not just any cake! I decided to put the mysterious custard apple to good use by making a rhubarb and custard apple buckle, which is an American recipe essentially involving a cake with loads of crumble topping on it (why limit yourself to just one dessert when you can have two? It’s the American way!). After a daunting trip to the shops on my own to obtain further mysterious ingredients like buttermilk – which by the way tastes nowhere NEAR as nice as you would think – and hazelnut meal I was ready to embark on my buckley quest. The baking process went without a hitch (many thanks to Phil for helping with stirring things) and the end result looked and tasted yummy:

Rhubarb and custard apple buckle

After the resounding success of our baking escapades, me and Phil went on to produce some rather good cidery pork for tea and then decided to make a cocktail using the other half of the custard apple and some gin, which was also very nice. Then it was time to go to an engagement party and meet more lovely Australians. I ended up drinking quite a lot of wine and having to explain the apparently baffling geography of Great Britain and Ireland using the items immediately available to me on the table:

Makeshift map of Britain for explaining to Aussies where things are

I also gained insight into what Newcastle is like from a tourist perspective – apparently “a bit of a dump”. When it was time to leave we went back to Michael’s for a bit to listen to music, and I discovered the splendidness of Jethro Tull.

Most of the following week – Flu

After suffering what seemed to be a gradually worsening hangover for most of Sunday, and panicking briefly about whether or not I had the Hendra virus, I realised I was in fact getting the flu. Turns out Australian flu viruses make British ones seem puny and pathetic! I was a feverish mess for a couple of days before developing a head brimming with snot and a horrendous consumptive cough that made people in the street flinch away in shock before looking at me pityingly as if I was dying. I’m still a bit consumptive even now, but as people have rightly pointed out I’m now immune to this year’s winter flu virus, hooray!

Tuesday 5th July – Sausages

To cheer me up on Tuesday Malcolm kindly allowed me to help him make some sausages, another culinary activity I have been as yet unexposed to. It’s quite amazingly simple: you put a load of meat through a machine to make it into mince, then squish in some seasoning, spices and vinegar (you can’t actually taste the vinegar when they’re cooked) before putting it through the machine again with a special attachment that feeds the mix into some pig intestines.

Italian breakfast sausage

We made some South African Boerewors with beef and loads of coriander seed, and some Italian Breakfast style pork sausages with John’s secret spice mix, as well as meatballs with the stuff that was left over. Loads of fun 🙂

Thursday 7th July – Bugs

Dave arrived from Adelaide to visit the Gold Coast for a few days. Unfortunately this meant I had to do the hour-long drive to Brisbane airport in my persistently feverish and delirious state, and the fact that massive lorries and idiots in Utes and things kept trying to kill me did not help matters. Thankfully I made it there and back safely, and had a relaxing afternoon after showing Dave around the Frazer house and introducing him to the dogs.

In the evening we went to Saks on the broadwater at Main Beach to eat some serious seafood. I valiantly tried and failed yet again to see what all the fuss is about with “natural” oysters: they’re not awful but they are still awkwardly reminiscent of eating cold snot. We also had some of the best calamari I’ve ever eaten; in my opinion the test of a good seafood restaurant is how they cook their squid, and Saks gets full marks! Since coming to Australia one of the things I’ve really wanted to eat is Moreton Bay Bugs, which are a kind of prehistoric-looking flat crustacean found only around northern Australia (Moreton Bay in particular, hence the name). In order to fulfil my dream of consuming this beast, me and Dave decided to get a mega seafood platter:

Seafood platter: Moreton Bay Bugs, Queensland prawns, black mussels, oysters Kilpatrick, grilled reef fish, soft shell crab, lemon pepper squid and octopus

I really enjoyed the bugs, which taste a lot like lobster. My favourite thing was definitely the soft shell crab though: I’ve had disappointing experiences with crab in the past but these were just incredible, I really will never understand why sea creatures have insisted on evolving to become so tasty!

Coming soon: the rest of Dave’s visit, complete with traumatic fishing experiences, rainforest skywalk and a tropical fruit-tastic day out!